 Her legacy |
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When You Went To Heaven
On September 17, 2005, at only 4 weeks old, you were called to Heaven. Early that morning, I nursed you, held you, and watched you sleep for a few minutes before I went to sleep myself. But when I woke up, you were gone. I picked you up, running through the house screaming. I can only remember pieces of the events that happened after they told me you were gone. I remember praying I'd wake up from this horrible nightmare. When I went into the room they had you in, the nurse told me that we couldn't hold you. They had wrapped you up in a receiving blanket. I sat beside the hospital bed, wanting so much to hold you in my arms. I kept asking myself what I did wrong. I went through my mind thinking about all we did that morning, and our routine was always the same. I remember screaming to your daddy that I wasn't going to leave my baby there. But I had no choice. I felt like it wasn't real. Everything seemed like a thick fog. I remember going to Mimi's house. So many people called to talk to us, but I wasn't in the talking mood. I just wanted your Gran to get there. I didn't understand how such a precious, beautiful gift from God be taken back so soon. Why? I love you with all of my being, and was so very happy that you were finally here for me to hold. You were with me every second that you were here. When the time came to make the decisions of your services, I lost it. How does a mother of a newborn prepare to have funeral for a baby she just had four weeks before? I'm thankful that we were able to put the making of the service arrangements into the hands of family members. Daddy and I talked about how we thought would be the most beautiful way to remember your life, and our family members made the phone calls. After your services, everyone spent a couple of days with us, and then returned home. That's when it all started to set in. I cried every day, and didn't want to get out of bed. Every room in our house was a reminder of each day I spent with you. I remember the first day I went home after you went to Heaven. When I walked through the front door, I saw the outfit you had on the day before laying on the couch. I picked it up, and put it to my face. It still smelled like you. I cried so hard, and felt so empty and lost. It took almost 2 months for the autopsy results to come back. They told us that you died of SIDS. I was so hurt because not only are you gone, but I don't know why. I never once thought that anything like this could ever happen to this family. But your life taught me a lot about mine. I know now not to take ANYTHING for granted. It's been nearly 6 months since you've been gone. I can now look at your pictures with a smile instead of tears. The pictures remind me of the precious, priceless moments I spent holding you. I wouldn't trade those moments and memories for anything. I love you my precious baby girl. I'll see you in my dreams each night, and I will hold you forever when I get to Heaven XOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!!!!
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Mommy, Please Don't Cry...There Are No Tears In Heaven
Mommy, Please Don't Cry...
A Beautiful Angel Carried Me Here!
I Met Jesus Today, Mommy! He Cradeled Me In His Big, Strong Arms. He Made Me Feel So Happy Inside.
Mommy, Please Don't Cry...
Heaven Is Wonderful! Did You Know The Streets Are Made Of Gold? Real Gold!
I Have Lots Of Friends, Mommy. We Run And Play,
We Giggle And Laugh. I Can't Wait To Show You My Secret Hideouts!
Mommy, Please Don't Cry...
When I Fall, It Doesn't Hurt! There Are No Tears In Heaven.
I've Met A Man Named Noah. He Told Me About His Big Boat, All The Animals, And The Very First Rainbow. Have You Heard Of Noah, Mommy?
Mommy, Please Don't Cry...
We Have Lots Of Parties Here; With Streamers And Hats, And The Best Chocolate Cake Ever!
When It's Time To Rest, Angels Tuck Us In. I Never Get Scared Mommy, There Is No Darkness Here. Jesus Is The Light Of Heaven.
Mommy, Please Don't Cry...
The Angels Are Always Singing. I Love To Sing With The Angels. You'd Be So Proud Of Me. I Have A Pretty Voice. I Must Have Gotten It From You. There Is A River, Mommy, In The Most Beautiful Garden You Could Ever Imagine... And A Huge Tree With Yummy Fruit. The Angels Call It The Tree Of Life. Mommy, It's So Wonderful To Be Alive In Heaven.
Mommy, Please Don't Cry...
Sometimes I Just Like To Be By Myself. That's When I Think Of You. Someday, Mommy, We Will Hold Each Other Tight! Then You Will Cradle Me In Your Arms, And Stroke My Hair... And Once Again, Our Hearts Will Beat Together.
Mommy, Please Don't Cry...
I'll Wait Right Here For You.
Written By Linda Deymaz
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Dakota's Poem Written By Her Aunt Randi
I was only here
For a little while
I brightened many lives
With my beautiful smile
My tiny little fingers
My tiny little toes
Left imprints in your heart
That will grow and grow
I know you are sad
Please do not cry
When you miss me
Think of butterflies
It isn’t fair
It had to be this way
God was ready for me
On that September day
I was carried away
On angel wings
In your memories
I will forever be
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Days Gone By
Written By Aunt Tabitha for Shelby & Dakota
Thinking of the days gone by,
I sit alone and ask God "Why?"
Why did she have to go away?
I've waited so long for her to play.
"Because, my sweet," He answered softly.
"I need her here to sit at my feet.
Day after day, she will sing and play.
Night after night, I will hold her this way.
Snuggled in my arms, close to my heart.
Thanking her family for their part.
In helping me create and angel for you,
To watch you from Heaven and guide you through.
All the days of your life, she will be close by,
Helping to show you the reasons for "Why?"
Keeping you safe through the struggles in life,
And always with a shoulder to cry through the night."
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